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Robin Campbell, LMFT, PHD What Is This Feeling? Wicked Loathing in BPD Explained The song “What Is This Feeling?” from Wicked, famously performed by Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth, begins with a sharp line: “My head is reeling… what is this feeling?” While it…
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The song “What Is This Feeling?” from Wicked, famously performed by Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth, begins with a sharp line: “My head is reeling… what is this feeling?” While it may seem like a light-hearted exchange between Shiz students Elphaba and Galinda, the lyrics—full of “such total detestation” and “simple utter loathing”—mirror emotional extremes that many people diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) experience. These emotions are not just theatrical; they are deeply intertwined with the very flesh of those who live with BPD symptoms. The song’s strange exhilaration and exceedingly peculiar tone echo the intense feeling captured in ‘What Is This Feeling?’ from Wicked, reflecting the intense relationships, paranoid thoughts, and emotional volatility common in BPD. Often emerging in early adulthood, BPD presents significant challenges in everyday life and interpersonal relationships. It is also linked to a higher risk of self-injury, substance use disorder, suicidal behavior, and even physical fights. By exploring this first song from Wicked through the lens of mental health, we can better understand the emotional experience of those living with BPD—and how early intervention, family therapy, and support from a qualified healthcare team can make a life-long difference.
The song “What Is This Feeling?” from Wicked features Elphaba and Galinda expressing sudden, overwhelming dislike for each other. While written as a comedic duet, the lyrics surprisingly capture the kind of emotional confusion and intensity often experienced by individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Lines like “What is this feeling, so sudden and new?” reflect the struggle to understand and name emotions, a common issue in BPD. The phrase “unadulterated loathing” emphasizes the extreme emotional reactions that people with BPD can feel, often without warning and with little middle ground between love and hate.
This song resonates with those who experience BPD because it illustrates how emotions can take over both the mind and body—flushing faces, racing thoughts, and strong impulses. Although it’s exaggerated for stage effect, the emotional shift in the lyrics mirrors real experiences of emotional dysregulation. People with BPD may connect with the chaos and confusion described in the song, not because of the specific situation, but because of the intense feelings that come without a clear cause. It’s a theatrical, but oddly accurate, look into the emotional storm BPD can create.
The song “What Is This Feeling?” from Wicked humorously explores sudden loathing between two characters, but it also reflects a deeper emotional truth seen in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). People with BPD often experience intense emotions like anger, rejection, or self-loathing that come on quickly and feel overwhelming. These emotional shifts can be confusing, both for the person feeling them and for others around them. While the song presents loathing as theatrical and exaggerated, the emotional intensity it captures mirrors how BPD can make feelings feel immediate, extreme, and hard to manage.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is known for emotional extremes, especially in relationships. A person with BPD may feel deep love one moment and intense loathing the next. These rapid shifts are not manipulative—they are part of the emotional dysregulation that defines the disorder. Small triggers, like a missed text or a change in tone, can spark feelings of rejection or abandonment. This leads to a sudden flip in emotions, turning affection into anger or hate. These extremes can strain personal connections and leave the individual feeling unstable, confused, and overwhelmed by their own reactions.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a serious mental health condition marked by unstable emotions, behavior, and relationships. People with BPD often experience intense mood swings, fear of abandonment, a shaky sense of identity, and impulsive actions like self-harm or substance use. These emotional highs and lows can happen within hours and feel impossible to manage. Treatment often targets specific symptoms of BPD, aiming to alleviate isolated symptoms rather than the disorder as a whole. Relationships may become unstable due to quick shifts between idealizing and devaluing others. BPD can also cause chronic feelings of emptiness, intense anger, and episodes of dissociation.
Compared to other mental health conditions, BPD shares some features but stands out for its emotional intensity and relationship struggles. For example, like depression, BPD involves sadness and hopelessness—but BPD emotions change more rapidly and are often triggered by specific events or relationships. It may also resemble bipolar disorder, which includes mood swings, but bipolar shifts tend to last days or weeks, while BPD emotions can change by the hour. Unlike anxiety disorders, where fear is constant, BPD fear is often tied to rejection or perceived abandonment. Understanding these differences helps with accurate diagnosis and effective treatment. With therapy—especially Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)—many people with BPD learn to manage symptoms and build more stable lives.
Differential diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is crucial because its symptoms often overlap with other mental health conditions, making accurate diagnosis challenging. BPD can be mistaken for bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or other personality disorders due to shared symptoms like mood swings, impulsive behavior, and intense emotions. For instance, while both BPD and bipolar disorder involve mood instability, the duration and triggers of these mood changes differ significantly. Bipolar disorder typically features prolonged mood episodes lasting days to weeks, whereas BPD mood swings can occur within hours and are often triggered by interpersonal conflicts.
A comprehensive diagnostic evaluation by mental health professionals is essential to distinguish BPD from other conditions. The diagnostic criteria for BPD, as outlined in the DSM-5, include a pervasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and emotions, along with impulsive behavior. Mental health professionals use various diagnostic tools, including interviews, questionnaires, and behavioral observations, to assess an individual’s symptoms, behavior, and medical history.
Other mental health conditions, such as anxiety disorders, eating disorders, and substance use disorder, can co-occur with BPD, complicating the diagnostic process. Therefore, a thorough assessment is necessary to identify the presence of BPD and any co-occurring conditions. Early diagnosis and treatment of BPD can significantly improve treatment outcomes and reduce the risk of severe symptoms and suicidal behavior.
The exact causes of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are not fully understood, but research suggests that a combination of genetic, environmental, and neurobiological factors contribute to its development. Family history plays a significant role, with individuals having a first-degree relative with BPD being at higher risk. This genetic predisposition can interact with environmental factors, such as childhood trauma, neglect, and invalidation of emotions, to increase the likelihood of developing BPD.
Neurobiological factors also play a crucial role. Abnormalities in brain structure and function, particularly in regions responsible for emotional regulation, such as the amygdala and prefrontal cortex, have been observed in individuals with BPD. These abnormalities can lead to intense emotions, mood swings, and impulsive behavior, which are often triggered by stressful life events or interpersonal conflicts.
Other mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety disorders, can co-occur with BPD, sharing common underlying risk factors. Research indicates that BPD is associated with an increased risk of suicidal behavior, self-harm, and substance use disorder, highlighting the need for early intervention and effective treatment. A comprehensive understanding of the causes and risk factors of BPD can inform the development of targeted prevention and treatment strategies, ultimately improving outcomes for those affected by this complex disorder.
Research has identified several brain and neurobiologic factors that contribute to the development and maintenance of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Abnormalities in brain structure and function, particularly in regions responsible for emotional regulation, such as the amygdala and prefrontal cortex, have been observed in individuals with BPD. The amygdala, which processes fear and emotional responses, tends to be overactive, while the prefrontal cortex, which helps with impulse control and decision-making, may be underactive. This imbalance can make emotions feel stronger and harder to manage.
Neurotransmitter imbalances, such as alterations in serotonin and dopamine levels, may also contribute to the development of BPD symptoms. Studies have shown that individuals with BPD tend to have reduced volumes of gray matter in areas responsible for emotional regulation, which may contribute to their impulsivity and emotional dysregulation. Functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) studies have revealed altered activity patterns in brain regions involved in emotional processing, social cognition, and impulse control in individuals with BPD.
The neurobiologic factors underlying BPD are complex and multifaceted, and further research is needed to fully understand their role in the development and maintenance of the disorder. A better understanding of these factors can inform the development of targeted treatments, such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and pharmacological interventions. Early intervention and treatment of BPD can help mitigate the severity of symptoms and improve treatment outcomes, highlighting the importance of addressing the brain and neurobiologic factors underlying the disorder.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) has a significant genetic component, with heritability estimates ranging from 30% to 60%. Family studies have shown that individuals with a first-degree relative with BPD are at higher risk of developing the disorder themselves. Twin studies have also demonstrated a significant genetic contribution to the development of BPD, with monozygotic twins showing a higher concordance rate than dizygotic twins.
Genetic variants, such as those involved in the regulation of serotonin and dopamine, have been associated with an increased risk of developing BPD. However, the genetic architecture of BPD is complex, and multiple genetic variants are likely to contribute to the development of the disorder. Environmental factors, such as childhood trauma and neglect, can interact with genetic predisposition to increase the risk of developing BPD.
Further research is needed to fully understand the genetic and heritability factors underlying BPD, which can inform the development of targeted prevention and treatment strategies. A better understanding of these factors can also help reduce stigma and promote a more nuanced understanding of the disorder, emphasizing that BPD is not a result of personal failings but a complex interplay of genetic and environmental influences.
The song “What Is This Feeling?” from Wicked captures sudden emotional intensity, which is something many people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) deeply understand. In BPD, emotions often feel extreme, unpredictable, and overwhelming. The characters in the song go from confusion to intense loathing within moments—similar to how someone with BPD might react to emotional triggers. This rapid shift from calm to chaos, or from affection to anger, is a key part of BPD. Though the song is lighthearted, its emotional message hits home for many living with the disorder, who often struggle to make sense of what they’re feeling and why it feels so strong. This emotional intensity can sometimes lead individuals to seek treatment, although barriers such as reluctance and limited access to services often prevent them from obtaining necessary therapeutic support.
Musical expression can help people better understand mental health conditions like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) by turning intense emotions into something relatable and clear. Songs use lyrics, tone, and rhythm to show how feelings rise and fall, often in ways that mirror emotional experiences in BPD. For example, a song like “What Is This Feeling?” captures emotional confusion and sudden loathing—both common in BPD. Music can make these feelings easier to talk about, giving listeners a way to connect with what someone with BPD might go through. It also helps reduce stigma by showing that emotional struggles are human and often universal.
Loathing in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often comes from deep emotional pain and fear of rejection. It can be directed at others, but just as often, it turns inward as self-hate. These feelings aren’t random—they usually follow perceived threats, like feeling ignored or misunderstood. In BPD, the brain reacts strongly to emotional triggers, making small problems feel overwhelming. This leads to intense reactions, such as anger, disgust, or loathing. These emotions can damage relationships and leave the person feeling ashamed afterward. Understanding the roots of loathing in BPD helps explain why emotional support and consistent care are key to recovery.
Here is a detailed list of common signs and symptoms associated with BPD:
Each person with BPD may show different symptoms and at varying levels. Diagnosis and treatment should always be handled by a qualified mental health professional.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) affects both the brain and body by disrupting how emotions are processed, controlled, and felt. In the brain, areas like the amygdala (which controls fear and emotional response) are often overactive, while the prefrontal cortex (which helps with impulse control and decision-making) may be underactive. This imbalance can make emotions feel stronger and harder to manage. Stress hormones like cortisol are often elevated in people with BPD, which puts added pressure on the body. Physically, this can lead to fatigue, tension, headaches, and digestive issues. Over time, constant emotional stress can weaken the immune system and raise the risk for chronic health problems.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can pose significant challenges to daily life, including employment and social relationships. Individuals with BPD may experience difficulties in maintaining stable employment due to symptoms such as impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, and interpersonal conflicts. These challenges can make it hard to hold down a job, leading to frequent job changes and financial instability.
The disorder can also impact an individual’s ability to form and maintain healthy relationships, which can further exacerbate employment challenges. Accommodations, such as flexible work arrangements and mental health support, can help individuals with BPD succeed in the workplace. Employers can play a crucial role in supporting employees with BPD by providing a supportive work environment and accommodating their needs.
Early intervention and treatment, including dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and other evidence-based therapies, can help mitigate the severity of symptoms and improve employment outcomes. Further research is needed to fully understand the employment challenges faced by individuals with BPD and to develop effective strategies for supporting their employment and social relationships. By addressing the disability and employment challenges associated with BPD, individuals with the disorder can lead more fulfilling and productive lives, and employers can benefit from a more diverse and inclusive workforce.
Short-Term Effects and Risks:
Long-Term Effects and Risks:
Early diagnosis and consistent treatment can reduce both short- and long-term risks and help improve quality of life.
Emotional dysregulation is one of the core features of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and it’s what often makes the condition so difficult to live with and understand. People with BPD feel emotions more intensely and for longer periods than others. Small triggers—like a change in someone’s tone or a delay in response—can cause a wave of anger, sadness, fear, or shame. These emotional reactions often come on fast and feel impossible to control. The result is a roller coaster of feelings that can feel “wicked,” overwhelming the person experiencing them and confusing those around them.
This intensity is linked to how the brain functions in people with BPD. The amygdala, which processes emotion, is highly sensitive and reactive. At the same time, the prefrontal cortex, which helps regulate emotional responses, may not respond as effectively. This combination creates strong emotional surges without the usual internal controls to bring things back to balance. Because of this, a minor disagreement or feeling of rejection can spiral into panic, rage, or deep despair. These reactions can lead to impulsive actions, self-harm, or emotional withdrawal—deepening the distress and reinforcing the cycle. Learning emotional regulation skills through therapies like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can help people with BPD gain more control over their reactions and reduce the emotional storms that feel so consuming.
Broadway songs often capture raw, emotional experiences that connect deeply with mental health themes. Characters in musicals express inner struggles through music, turning complex feelings into relatable moments. Songs like “What Is This Feeling?” from Wicked show how quickly emotions can shift—from confusion to loathing—mirroring patterns seen in conditions like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). These performances give voice to feelings that are hard to explain, such as rejection, anxiety, identity loss, or emotional chaos.
For people dealing with mental health challenges, Broadway can feel personal. Lyrics often reflect the push and pull between connection and isolation, hope and despair. Songs like “I’m Here” from The Color Purple or “Waving Through a Window” from Dear Evan Hansen speak directly to the pain of feeling unseen or misunderstood. Through melody and story, Broadway makes emotional pain visible—and helps reduce the stigma by showing that these feelings are part of the human experience.
Living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) means waking up unsure of how you’ll feel from one moment to the next. A simple text can bring joy, then panic if the reply takes too long. A casual comment might trigger shame or anger that feels impossible to shake. Throughout the day, emotions rise and fall fast—happiness can crash into sadness, love can turn into fear, and calm can shift into rage within minutes. These intense emotional swings are exhausting and often leave the person feeling confused and worn out.
The smallest events can feel huge. A missed call may spark fears of abandonment. A compliment might feel fake. A quiet moment can suddenly feel like total isolation. It’s not about overreacting—it’s about a brain that processes emotions more strongly and struggles to slow them down. At night, when things finally quiet, the weight of the day can feel crushing. But understanding, structure, and consistent support can help people with BPD manage these feelings and slowly regain emotional balance.
In Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), feelings like loathing or disgust often mask something deeper—fear. When someone with BPD feels rejected, misunderstood, or emotionally unsafe, they may react with intense anger or aversion. This “disgust” can be directed at others or turned inward as self-hate. But at the core, it’s usually fear—fear of abandonment, of not being good enough, or of being hurt again. The loathing becomes a defense, a way to push people away before they get too close and cause more pain.
This emotional reaction happens fast and can feel overwhelming. The brain in BPD is wired to react strongly to emotional threats, even if the situation doesn’t seem serious to others. What looks like hatred is often a way of trying to protect a fragile sense of self. By understanding that loathing is often fear in disguise, loved ones and professionals can respond with empathy instead of judgment—and help the person with BPD feel safe enough to work through those intense emotions.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) cannot be “cured” in the traditional sense, but it can be treated and managed. Many people with BPD see major improvements in their symptoms over time, especially with the right support. Therapy—especially Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)—is highly effective in helping individuals learn emotional regulation, improve relationships, and reduce impulsive behaviors. Some people experience fewer symptoms as they age, and many go on to live stable, fulfilling lives.
Recovery from BPD looks different for everyone. It’s a long-term process, not a quick fix. With consistent treatment, a strong support system, and personal effort, it is possible to feel more in control, form healthy relationships, and live with more emotional stability.
You should seek help if you experience intense emotions that feel overwhelming or out of control, especially if they affect your relationships, daily life, or self-image. Signs like frequent mood swings, fear of abandonment, impulsive actions, or self-harm are strong indicators that professional support is needed. If you often feel empty, misunderstood, or unsure who you are, therapy can help you find stability and clarity.
If thoughts of self-harm or suicide are present, it’s important to reach out immediately. Help is available through mental health professionals, crisis lines, or trusted support networks. Early treatment can make a major difference in managing Borderline Personality Disorder and improving long-term well-being.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is treatable, and many people improve with the right care. The most effective approach is therapy, especially:
Other helpful options include:
Long-term recovery is possible. With a consistent treatment plan and supportive care, many people with BPD go on to live more stable and fulfilling lives.
Yes, most insurance plans do cover treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), as it is recognized as a legitimate mental health condition. Coverage typically includes therapy sessions, psychiatric evaluations, medication management, and in some cases, intensive outpatient or residential programs. The level of coverage can vary depending on the insurance provider, plan type, and network of approved providers. It’s important to check with your insurance company to understand what services are included, if pre-authorization is needed, and what out-of-pocket costs may apply. Many treatment centers also offer insurance verification and support to help you navigate coverage options.
BPD is a serious mental health condition that affects more people than most realize, especially within the general population of those living with untreated trauma, family history of mental illness, or environmental factors that shape emotional development. The Wicked duet between Elphaba and Galinda might not have been written with psychology in mind, but its emotional tone speaks volumes. Lines like “flesh begin to crawl” and “dear Galinda, dear father” hint at the confusion, intensity, and instability of a mind in emotional distress. People with BPD often experience symptoms for their whole life without understanding why—a painful reality made worse when severe symptoms are misunderstood or misdiagnosed. BPD falls under Cluster B personality disorders and overlaps with eating disorders, other personality disorders, and patterns of suicidal behavior. But it is treatable. With a clear understanding of diagnostic criteria and support from family members, friends, and a trusted healthcare team, those living with BPD can reduce emotional suffering and build stability. And perhaps through music—whether from Stephen Schwartz or different music entirely—we can begin to feel empathy for what may seem exceedingly peculiar, but is in fact a deeply human experience.
At New Hope Healthcare, as an in-network provider we work with most insurance plans, such as:
If you or a loved one are struggling with mental health challenges or substance abuse, reach out to New Hope Healthcare today. Our team of compassionate professionals is here to support your journey towards lasting well-being. Give us a call at 866-799-0806.
Visit SAMHSA for more information.
What does the song “What Is This Feeling?” from Wicked have to do with BPD?
The song captures feelings of sudden, intense emotional reactions—similar to what people with Borderline Personality Disorder experience, especially in relationships.
Why do people with BPD experience such strong emotions like loathing?
BPD affects emotional regulation. Small triggers can lead to overwhelming feelings, including anger, rejection, and even self-loathing.
Can someone feel both love and hate in BPD?
Yes. People with BPD often shift quickly between emotional extremes. It’s possible to feel love and loathing toward the same person in a short time.
Is loathing in BPD always directed at others?
No. Loathing can be turned inward too. Many people with BPD struggle with shame, guilt, and intense self-criticism.
How can music like Wicked help people understand BPD?
Music expresses emotions clearly and creatively. Songs like “What Is This Feeling?” can help others understand how BPD emotions feel from the inside.
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