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Feeling Alone? You’re Not Alone: Understanding and Overcoming Loneliness

lonely person

Clinically Reviewed by: Dr. Robin Campbell, LMFT, PHD

Loneliness is a universal human experience, yet it’s often shrouded in stigma and misunderstanding. In our increasingly connected world, many people feel more isolated than ever. Whether it’s the solitude that comes from physical isolation, the emotional emptiness from lack of meaningful connections, or the pervasive feeling of being misunderstood, loneliness can impact anyone, regardless of age, background, or social status.

Welcome to our blog series on loneliness, where we aim to shed light on this deeply personal and complex emotion. Throughout this series, we’ll explore the different facets of loneliness, its causes, and its profound effects on mental and physical health. We’ll also provide practical tips and strategies for overcoming loneliness and building stronger, more fulfilling connections.

Join us as we delve into the science behind loneliness, share personal stories of struggle and resilience, and offer guidance on finding hope and companionship in a world that often feels disconnected. Whether you’re seeking to understand your own feelings of loneliness or looking to support someone else, this blog is here to help you navigate the journey towards connection and belonging.

What is Loneliness?

Loneliness is a complex and often distressing emotional experience characterized by feelings of isolation, disconnection, and a lack of meaningful social relationships. It is not merely the physical state of being alone but rather the subjective perception of feeling alone and disconnected, even when surrounded by others.


Key Aspects of Loneliness:

  • Emotional Loneliness: This type of loneliness stems from the absence of close, emotional connections with others. People experiencing emotional loneliness may feel that they lack a deep, intimate bond with someone who truly understands and cares for them.
  • Social Loneliness: Social loneliness arises from a lack of a broader social network or community. Individuals may feel that they do not belong to any group or that they lack social integration, leading to feelings of alienation.
  • Situational Loneliness: Certain life events or changes, such as moving to a new city, ending a relationship, or experiencing the loss of a loved one, can trigger situational loneliness. These events disrupt existing social connections and can lead to a temporary or prolonged sense of isolation.
  • Chronic Loneliness: When feelings of loneliness persist over a long period, it can become chronic. Chronic loneliness can have significant negative impacts on both mental and physical health, contributing to issues such as depression, anxiety, and a weakened immune system.

Addressing Loneliness:

  • Building Connections: Actively seeking out social opportunities, joining clubs, or volunteering can help build a sense of community.
  • Strengthening Existing Relationships: Investing time and effort in nurturing existing relationships can deepen emotional connections.
  • Professional Help: Therapy or counseling can provide support and strategies for managing loneliness and improving social skills.
  • Self-Care: Engaging in activities that promote physical and mental well-being, such as exercise, hobbies, and mindfulness practices, can help mitigate feelings of loneliness.

Understanding and addressing loneliness is crucial for fostering emotional and physical health. By recognizing the signs and causes of loneliness, individuals can take proactive steps to reconnect and build meaningful relationships.


What Causes Loneliness? 

Loneliness can arise from a variety of factors, often involving a combination of social, emotional, and situational elements. Here are some of the major causes of loneliness:

1. Life Transitions

  • Moving to a New Place: Relocating to a new city or country can disrupt existing social networks and make it difficult to establish new connections.
  • Retirement: Leaving the workforce can result in the loss of daily interactions and a sense of purpose, leading to loneliness.
  • Divorce or Separation: The end of a significant relationship can lead to feelings of isolation and the need to rebuild social connections.
  • Loss of a Loved One: Bereavement can leave individuals feeling profoundly lonely as they cope with the absence of a close companion.

2. Social Isolation

  • Living Alone: Individuals who live alone are at a higher risk of experiencing loneliness due to a lack of daily social interaction.
  • Limited Social Interaction: Physical disabilities, chronic illnesses, or lack of transportation can limit opportunities for social engagement.
  • Remote Work: Increased remote work can reduce opportunities for in-person social interactions and collegial relationships.

3. Mental Health Issues

  • Depression and Anxiety: Mental health conditions can create barriers to forming and maintaining relationships, leading to social withdrawal and isolation.
  • Social Anxiety: Fear of social situations or negative judgment can prevent individuals from engaging in social activities, increasing feelings of loneliness.

4. Technology and Social Media

  • Digital Overload: While technology and social media can connect people, excessive use can sometimes replace meaningful face-to-face interactions, leading to superficial connections.
  • Comparison and FOMO (Fear of Missing Out): Social media can create unrealistic expectations of others’ lives, leading to feelings of inadequacy and loneliness.

5. Cultural and Social Factors

  • Cultural Shifts Towards Individualism: Societies that prioritize individual success and independence over community and family can contribute to feelings of isolation.
  • Changing Family Structures: Modern family dynamics, such as smaller family units or increased geographic mobility, can reduce traditional support systems.

6. Work and Lifestyle Factors

  • Long Working Hours: High demands at work can leave little time for social activities and personal relationships.
  • Geographic Mobility for Work: Frequent relocations for career advancement can disrupt social networks and make it hard to form lasting connections.

7. Age-Related Factors

  • Elderly Isolation: Older adults may experience loneliness due to retirement, loss of peers, decreased mobility, and separation from family.
  • Young Adults: Transitioning from school to the workforce or college can disrupt established social circles, leading to loneliness.

8. Societal Norms and Expectations

  • Pressure to Conform: Societal pressure to conform to certain social norms or life milestones can make individuals who do not fit these expectations feel isolated.
  • Stigma and Discrimination: Experiencing stigma or discrimination based on race, gender, sexual orientation, or other factors can lead to social exclusion and loneliness.

9. Personal Factors

  • Introversion: Naturally introverted individuals may find it more challenging to seek out social interactions, which can lead to loneliness.
  • Low Self-Esteem: People with low self-esteem might avoid social situations due to fear of rejection or inadequacy, exacerbating feelings of loneliness.

10. Environmental Factors

  • Urban Living: Paradoxically, living in densely populated urban areas can lead to feelings of anonymity and loneliness.
  • Rural Isolation: Conversely, living in rural or remote areas can limit opportunities for social interaction, leading to isolation.

Understanding these causes is crucial for addressing loneliness effectively. By recognizing the factors that contribute to loneliness, individuals and communities can take proactive steps to foster connections and support those who feel isolated.


What are the Risks of Loneliness?

Loneliness is more than just an unpleasant feeling; it can have significant negative impacts on both mental and physical health. Here are some of the major risks associated with prolonged loneliness:

Mental Health Risks:

  • Depression and Anxiety: Loneliness can lead to the development of depression and anxiety disorders. The lack of social support and interaction often exacerbates feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and worry.
  • Increased Stress Levels: Chronic loneliness can elevate stress hormones like cortisol, leading to a state of constant stress, which negatively affects mental well-being.
  • Cognitive Decline: Prolonged loneliness is associated with cognitive decline and an increased risk of developing dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, particularly in older adults.
  • Low Self-Esteem and Negative Self-Perception: Persistent loneliness can lead to low self-esteem and a negative self-image, as individuals may start to believe that they are unloved or unworthy of companionship.
  • Social Anxiety: Continuous isolation can result in increased social anxiety, making it even more difficult to engage in social interactions and form new relationships.

Physical Health Risks:

  • Cardiovascular Health Issues: Loneliness is linked to higher risks of heart disease, hypertension, and stroke. The stress associated with loneliness can contribute to the development of these conditions.
  • Weakened Immune System: Loneliness can impair immune function, making individuals more susceptible to infections and illnesses.
  • Chronic Health Conditions: People who are lonely are at a higher risk of developing chronic health conditions such as diabetes, obesity, and chronic pain due to poor health behaviors and increased stress levels.
  • Poor Sleep Quality: Loneliness can lead to sleep disturbances, including insomnia and fragmented sleep, which in turn can have adverse effects on overall health.
  • Increased Mortality Risk: Studies have shown that loneliness can increase the risk of premature death, comparable to the risks associated with smoking and obesity.

Behavioral and Lifestyle Risks:

  • Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms: Individuals experiencing loneliness may turn to unhealthy behaviors such as excessive alcohol consumption, smoking, or overeating as a way to cope with their feelings.
  • Reduced Physical Activity:
  • Loneliness often leads to decreased motivation for physical activity, contributing to a sedentary lifestyle and associated health problems.
  • Social Withdrawal:
  • Persistent loneliness can lead to further social withdrawal, creating a vicious cycle where isolation breeds more isolation, making it increasingly difficult to reconnect with others.

Impact on Daily Functioning:

  • Impaired Academic and Work Performance: Loneliness can affect concentration, productivity, and overall performance in academic or work settings.
  • Decreased Quality of Life: The emotional pain of loneliness can diminish overall quality of life, making daily activities less enjoyable and more burdensome.

Relational Risks:

  • Strained Relationships: Loneliness can put a strain on existing relationships, as the lonely individual may become overly dependent, overly sensitive, or, conversely, withdrawn and detached.
  • Difficulty Forming New Relationships: The longer loneliness persists, the harder it becomes to reach out and form new meaningful connections due to increased social anxiety and diminished social skills.

Loneliness is a significant public health issue with far-reaching consequences for mental, physical, and social well-being. Addressing loneliness through interventions such as therapy, social engagement initiatives, and community support programs is crucial for mitigating these risks and improving overall quality of life. Recognizing and addressing loneliness early can help prevent these severe outcomes and promote a healthier, more connected society.


How can loneliness be different from being alone?

Being alone is a physical state of solitude, while loneliness is an emotional state. A person can be alone without feeling lonely and can feel lonely even when surrounded by others if they lack meaningful connections.


How can one cope with loneliness?

Effective coping strategies include seeking social support, engaging in hobbies and activities, volunteering, joining clubs or groups, practicing self-care, and seeking professional help if necessary.


Are certain groups more at risk of experiencing loneliness?

Yes, certain groups are more vulnerable to loneliness, including the elderly, people with chronic illnesses or disabilities, those who have recently experienced major life changes, and individuals living alone or in remote areas.


Can technology help reduce loneliness?

Technology can both alleviate and exacerbate loneliness. While it can connect people through social media, video calls, and online communities, excessive use of technology can replace face-to-face interactions and contribute to feelings of isolation.


What role do social relationships play in combating loneliness?

Strong social relationships are crucial in combating loneliness. Meaningful connections with family, friends, and community members provide emotional support, increase feelings of belonging, and improve overall well-being.

Short Term and Long Term Effects

Short-Term Effects of Loneliness:
  • Emotional Distress: Immediate feelings of sadness, despair, or unhappiness. Individuals may experience a sense of emptiness or being disconnected from others.
  • Increased Stress: Loneliness can trigger the body’s stress response, leading to heightened levels of stress hormones like cortisol, which can cause immediate feelings of tension and anxiety.
  • Sleep Disturbances: Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, leading to poor sleep quality and fatigue. This can further impact mood and cognitive function.
  • Reduced Cognitive Function: Short-term loneliness can impair concentration and decision-making abilities, making it harder to focus on tasks and process information efficiently.
  • Social Withdrawal: A tendency to withdraw from social interactions, leading to decreased social engagement and a reluctance to seek out or participate in social activities.
  • Behavioral Changes: Engaging in unhealthy behaviors such as overeating, excessive drinking, or smoking as coping mechanisms.

Long-Term Effects of Loneliness:

  • Mental Health Disorders: Prolonged loneliness can lead to serious mental health issues, including chronic depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and social anxiety disorder.
  • Cognitive Decline: Long-term loneliness is associated with an increased risk of cognitive decline and dementia, particularly in older adults.
  • Cardiovascular Health Issues: Sustained loneliness can contribute to the development of cardiovascular problems such as hypertension, heart disease, and an increased risk of stroke.
  • Weakened Immune System: Chronic loneliness can impair immune function, making the body more susceptible to infections and illnesses.
  • Increased Mortality Risk: Studies have shown that long-term loneliness can significantly increase the risk of premature death, comparable to the health risks posed by smoking and obesity.
  • Chronic Health Conditions: Persistent loneliness can lead to the development of chronic conditions like diabetes, obesity, and chronic pain due to poor health behaviors and increased stress levels.
  • Poor Sleep Quality: Ongoing sleep disturbances and insomnia can become chronic, leading to long-term sleep deprivation and its associated health risks.
  • Social and Relationship Issues: Long-term loneliness can strain existing relationships and make it difficult to form new ones, perpetuating a cycle of social isolation and further loneliness.
  • Decreased Quality of Life: The emotional pain and stress associated with chronic loneliness can significantly diminish overall quality of life, affecting daily functioning and overall well-being.
  • Behavioral Issues: Long-term loneliness may lead to continued engagement in unhealthy behaviors, such as substance abuse, poor diet, and lack of physical activity, which can exacerbate health problems.

Both short-term and long-term loneliness have profound effects on mental, physical, and social well-being. While short-term loneliness can lead to immediate emotional distress and behavioral changes, prolonged loneliness can have severe, lasting impacts on health and quality of life. Addressing loneliness through social support, therapy, and community engagement is crucial for mitigating these effects and promoting overall well-being. Recognizing the signs of loneliness early and taking proactive steps can help prevent the escalation of these negative outcomes.



Loneliness and Substance Abuse

Loneliness and substance abuse are often interconnected, creating a vicious cycle where each issue exacerbates the other. Understanding the relationship between these two factors is crucial for effective intervention and support.


How Loneliness Leads to Substance Abuse:

  • Coping Mechanism: Individuals experiencing loneliness may turn to alcohol or drugs as a way to cope with their feelings of isolation and emotional pain. These substances can provide temporary relief or a sense of euphoria, masking the underlying issues.
  • Self-Medication: Loneliness can lead to feelings of depression and anxiety. Some people use substances to self-medicate these symptoms, believing that drugs or alcohol can alleviate their mental health struggles.
  • Social Acceptance: Lonely individuals might use substances in an attempt to fit in or feel accepted by a social group. Peer pressure can play a significant role in initiating and continuing substance use.
  • Boredom: Without meaningful social interactions or activities, lonely individuals may turn to substance use to fill the void and occupy their time.

How Substance Abuse Leads to Loneliness:

  • Damaged Relationships: Substance abuse can strain or destroy relationships with family and friends, leading to further isolation and loneliness. The behavior associated with addiction, such as dishonesty or neglect, can drive loved ones away.
  • Social Withdrawal: Individuals who abuse substances may withdraw from social activities and interactions as their addiction takes precedence over relationships. They may also isolate themselves to hide their substance use.
  • Stigma and Shame: The stigma surrounding substance abuse can cause individuals to feel ashamed and reluctant to seek help, increasing their sense of loneliness and isolation.
  • Mental Health Decline: Prolonged substance abuse can exacerbate mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety, which can further contribute to feelings of loneliness and social withdrawal.

Breaking the Cycle:

Seek Professional Help:

  • Therapy: Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and other therapeutic approaches can help address both substance abuse and underlying feelings of loneliness.
  • Substance Abuse Treatment: Programs such as inpatient or outpatient rehab, counseling, and support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA) can provide structured support.
  • Build a Support Network: Strengthen existing relationships with family and friends who support sobriety. Joining support groups or community activities can help build new, healthy social connections.
  • Engage in Healthy Activities: Find hobbies and activities that bring joy and purpose, such as exercise, volunteering, or creative pursuits. These can provide a sense of accomplishment and reduce feelings of boredom and loneliness.
  • Practice Self-Care: Prioritize physical and mental health through regular exercise, healthy eating, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices such as meditation or yoga.
  • Address Mental Health: Seek treatment for underlying mental health conditions that may contribute to both loneliness and substance abuse. Integrated treatment approaches that address both issues simultaneously are often most effective.
  • Education and Awareness: Learn about the effects of loneliness and substance abuse. Understanding the connection can help individuals recognize their behaviors and take steps toward change.

The relationship between loneliness and substance abuse is complex and cyclical, with each condition potentially worsening the other. Breaking this cycle requires a comprehensive approach that addresses both issues through professional treatment, building supportive relationships, and engaging in healthy activities. By recognizing the signs and seeking help, individuals can work towards recovery and a more connected, fulfilling life.


How to Fight Loneliness

Fighting loneliness requires a proactive approach that includes building meaningful relationships, improving self-care, and seeking professional support when necessary. Here are some effective strategies to combat loneliness:

1. Build and Strengthen Relationships

  • Reach Out to Friends and Family: Reconnect with loved ones by calling, texting, or planning visits. Sharing your feelings and experiences can help strengthen bonds.
  • Make New Connections: Join clubs, groups, or organizations that align with your interests. Whether it’s a book club, sports team, or volunteer group, shared activities foster new relationships.
  • Be Open and Approachable: Show interest in others, listen actively, and be willing to share about yourself. Authentic interactions build stronger connections.

2. Engage in Community Activities

  • Volunteer: Volunteering not only helps others but also provides a sense of purpose and community. It can introduce you to people who share your values and interests.
  • Attend Local Events: Participate in community events, workshops, or classes. These settings provide opportunities to meet new people and engage in meaningful activities.

3. Leverage Technology Wisely

  • Stay Connected Online: Use social media and video calls to stay in touch with friends and family, especially if they live far away. However, balance online interactions with face-to-face meetings to maintain deep connections.
  • Join Online Communities: Participate in forums or social media groups related to your interests. These communities can provide support and a sense of belonging.

4. Practice Self-Care

  • Exercise Regularly: Physical activity can improve mood and reduce feelings of loneliness. Join a gym, take up a new sport, or simply go for regular walks.
  • Pursue Hobbies: Engage in activities that you enjoy and that bring you a sense of accomplishment. Hobbies can be a great way to meet people with similar interests.
  • Mindfulness and Meditation: Practices like meditation can help you stay present and manage feelings of loneliness. Mindfulness can also help you appreciate your own company and reduce feelings of isolation.

5. Seek Professional Help

  • Therapy or Counseling: A mental health professional can help you explore the root causes of your loneliness and develop coping strategies. Therapies like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can be particularly effective.
  • Support Groups: Join support groups where you can share your experiences with others facing similar challenges. These groups provide both emotional support and practical advice.

6. Enhance Your Social Skills

  • Improve Communication: Work on your communication skills to build better relationships. Active listening, empathy, and clear expression of your thoughts and feelings can improve your interactions.
  • Take Social Risks: Be willing to step out of your comfort zone and initiate conversations or invite others to join activities. Small efforts can lead to meaningful connections.

7. Adopt a Pet

  • Companionship: Pets, particularly dogs and cats, can provide companionship and reduce feelings of loneliness. They can also help you connect with other pet owners.

8. Stay Positive

  • Focus on Gratitude: Keep a gratitude journal to remind yourself of positive aspects of your life. Focusing on what you have rather than what you lack can improve your overall outlook.
  • Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that building meaningful relationships takes time. Be patient and persistent in your efforts.

Combating loneliness involves a combination of social, emotional, and practical strategies. By actively seeking out and nurturing relationships, engaging in fulfilling activities, and taking care of your mental and physical health, you can significantly reduce feelings of loneliness. Remember, it’s important to be proactive and open to new experiences and connections. If loneliness becomes overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek professional help to guide you through your journey towards a more connected and fulfilling life.

Effective Treatment Options for Loneliness

Individual Therapy:

  • Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Helps individuals identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to loneliness.
  • Interpersonal Therapy (IPT): Focuses on improving interpersonal skills and building healthier relationships.
  • Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT): Combines cognitive therapy with mindfulness strategies to help individuals stay present and reduce feelings of loneliness.

Group Therapy:

  • Group therapy sessions can provide support and understanding from others facing similar issues. This setting also offers opportunities to practice social skills and build new connections.

Support Groups:

  • Joining support groups for loneliness, depression, or related issues can help individuals find community and share experiences in a safe and supportive environment.

Social Skills Training:

  • Programs or workshops that focus on developing communication and social interaction skills can be beneficial for those who struggle with forming and maintaining relationships.

Community Engagement:

  • Encouraging participation in community activities, volunteer work, or local clubs can help individuals find a sense of purpose and belonging.

Pet Therapy:

  • Owning a pet or participating in animal-assisted therapy can provide companionship and reduce feelings of loneliness.

Insurance Options for Treatment:

Health Insurance Plans:

  • Employer-Sponsored Insurance: Many employers offer health insurance plans that cover mental health services, including therapy for loneliness.
  • Individual Health Insurance: Private health insurance plans often include coverage for mental health services. It’s important to review your plan details to understand the extent of coverage.

Medicaid and Medicare:

  • Medicaid: A state and federal program that provides health coverage for low-income individuals. Medicaid often includes mental health services, though coverage can vary by state.
  • Medicare: A federal program primarily for individuals aged 65 and older or those with certain disabilities. Medicare Part B covers outpatient mental health services, including therapy.

Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs):

  • Many employers offer EAPs, which provide a limited number of counseling sessions at no cost to employees. These programs can be a good starting point for addressing loneliness and related issues.

Sliding Scale Fees:

  • Some therapists offer sliding scale fees based on income, making therapy more affordable for those without comprehensive insurance coverage.

Non-Profit and Community Organizations:

  • Various non-profit organizations and community mental health centers offer low-cost or free mental health services. These organizations often receive funding to provide services to those in need.

Online Therapy Platforms:

  • Online therapy services can be a convenient and sometimes more affordable option. Many platforms accept insurance or offer subscription plans that can reduce the cost of therapy.

Steps to Accessing Treatment:

Check Your Insurance Coverage:

  • Contact your insurance provider to verify what mental health services are covered, including therapy sessions, group therapy, and support groups. Ask about co-pays, deductibles, and any limits on the number of covered sessions.

Find a Provider:

  • Use your insurance provider’s directory to find in-network therapists. You can also search for therapists through online directories like Psychology Today or GoodTherapy, filtering by those who accept your insurance.

Explore Community Resources:

  • Look for local community health centers, non-profit organizations, and support groups that offer mental health services. Your primary care physician or local mental health association can provide referrals.

Utilize EAPs:

  • If your employer offers an EAP, contact them to learn about available counseling services. EAPs often provide confidential short-term counseling and can refer you to long-term care if needed.

Consider Online Therapy:

  • Platforms like BetterHelp, Talkspace, and others offer online counseling services that can be more flexible and sometimes more affordable. Check if they accept your insurance or offer financial assistance.

Effectively addressing loneliness involves a combination of therapy, community engagement, and building social skills. By exploring various treatment options and understanding your insurance coverage, you can find the support needed to overcome loneliness. Remember, seeking help is a crucial step towards improving mental health and well-being. If you’re unsure where to start, reach out to a mental health professional or your primary care provider for guidance.


In conclusion, understanding and addressing loneliness is crucial for maintaining both mental and physical well-being. This blog has explored the intricate nature of loneliness, its causes, and its far-reaching effects on our lives. By recognizing key signs such as social isolation, emotional distress, and the lack of meaningful connections, we can take proactive steps to combat this pervasive issue.

Effective strategies for overcoming loneliness include building strong social relationships, engaging in community activities, and leveraging technology responsibly to maintain connections. It’s important to seek support, whether through professional help, support groups, or simply reaching out to friends and family.

Remember, loneliness is a common experience that many people face at different stages of life. By fostering a sense of belonging and community, we can mitigate the negative impacts of loneliness and enhance our overall quality of life. Embracing proactive measures and supporting each other through genuine connections will pave the way towards a more connected and emotionally healthy society.


Seeking Treatment? We Can Help!

At New Hope Healthcare, as an in-network provider we work with most insurance plans, such as:


If you or a loved one are struggling with mental health challenges or substance abuse, reach out to New Hope Healthcare today. Our team of compassionate professionals is here to support your journey towards lasting well-being. Give us a call at 866-799-0806


Frequently Asked Questions

Loneliness is the feeling of being isolated or disconnected from others, even if you are not physically alone. It is a subjective experience where a person feels a lack of meaningful social connections.
Loneliness can be caused by various factors, including life transitions (moving, retirement), loss of a loved one, social isolation, mental health issues, and even excessive use of technology that replaces face-to-face interactions.
Loneliness can lead to mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and increased stress levels. It can also exacerbate existing mental health conditions, making them more difficult to manage.
Loneliness has been linked to various physical health problems, including cardiovascular disease, weakened immune system, poor sleep quality, and an increased risk of chronic conditions like diabetes and obesity.
Yes, chronic loneliness can have severe long-term effects, including increased risk of cognitive decline, dementia, and premature death. It can also lead to persistent mental health issues and decreased overall quality of life.

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